Friday, February 17, 2012

Fun Guys




For a few years now, I've wanted to grow mushrooms- not this kind, but something for the soup pot or skillet. I'm constantly cleaning the bathroom to avoid mold growth, so why not try to cultivate some kind of fungus for the table? It can't be that hard, not to mention mushrooms are usually more expensive than I'd like to pay at the grocery store. There are various kits and things out there in the world for just this thing.

Finally I got the nerve to order one of the kits. It was under $30, and I figured what the hell, why not? It arrived early last week. This particular kit is for Oyster Mushrooms, which I've never actually eaten to my recollection. I'm sure they'll be yummy... well, mostly sure. For this particular kit, you save a bunch of coffee grounds and then mix in the spores and then wait. Much to my dismay, I didn't know how much delicious breakfast beverage substrate I'd actually need. When the giant 5-lb-or-so box showed up last Monday and I read the instructions, I discovered it requisitioned a whopping 3 GALLONS of coffee grounds. I started bringing containers to work and asking family and friends for their caffeine-induced cravings' waste product. Naomi told me that Starbucks has a recycling program where they give out their grounds to gardeners. I called the local Starbucks, they told me to call back, I called back. When I went in to pick up the black gold in a bag, they had forgotten. It sure seemed like they didn't want to bother, so I gave up on them. Finally I decided to go for it today.

So now there's a 3-gallon Hood Ice Cream bucket sitting in the corner of the kitchen between the stove and the coffee pot with a plastic bag over it. Maybe in a week, maybe two, I should see the off-white shelves of the mycelium sticking out of the bucket.

I've got grand ideas of cooking with mushrooms, putting them in my dehydrator and storing them, and having so many that I get sick of them. I've really got my fingers crossed for a grand success story. I hope that it will be convincing and some of my friends, or even random passers-by of this blog will get the feeling that this is a great idea. Even if you have zero outside space in some crappy apartment (well, crappy to me because it doesn't have outside space!) you can grow some of your own food!

My major concern only sprung up (not unlike my fungal friends I'm attempting to cultivate) just this morning. What if the spores run rampant, and mushrooms start growing where I don't want them inside the house? Kitchen cabinets, baseboard molding, under the bed?!?!?!?! It's probably REALLLLLLLY unlikely, but that little notion is going to proliferate in the back, damp, dark corners of my mind. I guess it goes with the territory. So, I will consider moving them outside at some point, which I will probably do in the summer anyway, where the fun-guys will probably be more content anyway.

Whenever it so happens that I'm chowing down on the soft rubbery not-really-fruits of my labor (or intended negligence as it were), I'll post about it, along with some pictures.

Picture from Wikipedia.

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